Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Negotiated Infidelity


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According to Newsweek, roughly 50 percent of married men will cheat, and at least 81 percent won’t admit to it even after their partner asks.

On this week episode of Basketball Wives ( aka-Basketball Jump-off’s), Evelyn Lozada who was once engaged to basketball, Antoine Walker, questions current fiancé Chad Ocho Cinco about alleged rumours flying around the internet regarding Chad’s supposedly infidelities with other women. In his feeble attempt to defend his actions Chad informs Evelyn “that he’s on the road a lot and some minor missteps alone the way”. Being committed to only one person is a new (concept) for him. Evelyn retorts that Chad needed to get his shiz together, they are getting married in 6 months, and to just fess up and tell her the truth. She’d rather know then, not know, about his alleged infidelities. Tell me the truth, go out and get some condoms- be 100 with me”.


And here’s the kick in the azz part- Chad looked Evelyn deeply in her eyes and with a straight face said, “We should both go out, together, and if I see somebody I like I think we should bring her home”.

Okay, stay with me, here is where most woman would ask their man if he’s lost his ever lovin’ rabbit mind, right? Wrong. Instead Evelyn replied “what if I don’t like her-a?”

Is it ever OK to go outside of a marriage? We assume that it's always men that cheat? Don't women do it also? And if women do it, do we need to "negotiated infidelity” in order to "save" the marriage? Would you rather know the truth about your partner's identity even if it were painful? Would you let your husband have a mistress to save your relationship?

Chad Ocho Cinco, or Johnson, or whatever the hell his name is now, needs to respect the sanctity of marriage and realize that his shiz does stink!


IJS




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Monday, February 20, 2012

Does Bad Credit Equal Bad Employee?

There’s an old saying: the best way to get a job is to have a job.
If you're unemployed and suffering from bad credit, a growing number of states' lawmakers want to remove one barrier between you and a new job: a credit check. Many job seekers in the country are in a Catch-22: they’re behind on their bills because they don’t have a job, but they can’t get a job because they’re behind on their bills.” A significant number of elected officials nationwide now believe that in a difficult economy, a poor credit history shouldn't be a determining factor for job applicants.
What a novel ideal- I’m unemployed, so I can’t pay my bills, and because I can’t pay my bill, I can’t get a job.  So, tell me how the hell am I supposed to get off this frigging downward spiral? In an avoidance of the creation of a permanent underclass we now have struggling consumers who are unable to improve their financial situations. The Black populations has complained, for quit sometime, to each other about this discriminating tactic.  Now, that unemployment is in the double digits range, and this no longer just affects “just us”, but “them” too, it’s a problem
The latest screening and hiring trends by human resources firm ADP showed that 41 percent of credit records screened in 2008 showed a judgment, lien, bankruptcy or referral to a collection agency- it could potentially prevent you from getting a job primarily based on your credit history. As unemployment continues to hover near 10 percent, a loss of income often leading to unpaid bills, unemployed borrowers find themselves struggling with financial problems. Reliance on credit report information in hiring decisions can also lead to people being penalized for mistakes made by others. Job seekers could be impacted by errors on their credit reports- errors that a consumer wouldn't know about unless they checked their credit reports
In Chicago Alderman Ameya Pawar (47th Ward) wants to ban discrimination against the unemployed. Alderman Pawar wants to update the Chicago Human Framework to prevent companies from redlining applicants because they’re unemployed, or have bad credit. “Employers have been discriminating against job applicants on the basis of credit history and employment status, and as a result, deny qualified applicants jobs,” Pawar said. “Even with the overwhelming data showing there is no connection between job performance and credit history, employers are consistently weeding out applicants based on credit histories Pawar’s ordinance would allow the city’s Human Relations Commission to take action against companies that discriminate against the unemployed, and will specifically add “employment status (as to unemployment)” to the Chicago Human Rights Framework. It will also prohibit employers from including the phrase “Unemployed need not apply” in Help Wanted ads. (Employers would still be allowed to inquire about employment gaps.) At the state level, Illinois State Rep. Jack D. Franks' introduced a bill -- which still allows for credit checks involving police, financial institutions and insurance companies, among others -- that was signed into law by the state governor in August 2010 and effective January 2011.
A central absurdity of using credit checks in today's economy: some job applicants may be turned away by the same corporations that, amid their own financial troubles, have left workers jobless. "Many of the companies that are using these credit checks are ones that have filed for Chapter 11 themselves. People may have worked for these same companies”. Rep. Franks says. Companies should be the ones answering questions. Employers must be able to justify their reasons for requiring this information and how it directly relates to the position. Since many employers require job applicants to waive their right to privacy, applicants have no other choice than to submit to a credit history inquiry.
Now check this out-In October 2001 the Enron scandal, revealed, and eventually led to the bankruptcy of the Enron Corporation and the dissolution of Arthur Andersen, which was one of the five largest audit and accountancy partnerships in the world. Shareholders lost nearly $11 billion when Enron's stock price, plummeted to less than $1 by the end of November 2001. Many EXECUTIVES at Enron were indicted for a variety of charges and were later sentenced to prison. Enron's auditor, Arthur Andersen, was found guilty in a United States District Court.
If the so called premises of bad credit equates to bad employees; thus justifying employers use of consumer credit checks against prospective and current employees for the purposes of making adverse employment decisions- or worse, a corporate criminal . I presume Enron and Arthur Andersen HR personnel didn’t get the memo to run credit checks on its executives!
 Why wasn’t this perceived as an issue our so-called social and political leaders did not address a long ass time ago including — the narcissistic clergy who live on the tithes of the impoverished while standing aloof or Politicians’ who campaign slogans are based on creating jobs, and yet once elected sit on their butts and pretend not to notice.
Sorry, Rev. Pastor Preacher and Mr. Vote for Me Politician, but if I ain’t got no job, I can’t tithe or give campaign contributions. Can’t help you. Don’t ask for my vote. Don’t ask for my dollars. Poor people have enough problems as it is.


Where They Do That At?

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Stop Blaming Bobby for Whitney’s Drug Abuse



Whitney Houston 1963-2012

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Bobby Brown is not responsible for Whitney Houston's drug abuse.

It was no well-kept secret that Whitney was addicted to drugs, and struggled with her addition for years.  And for years people have blamed Bobby Brown for Whitney’s addition. People, please, Bobby Brown is no more responsible for Whitney actions then you or me. Yes, Whitney had this pristine girl next door image that some say was tarnished by Bobby. Yes, Bobby was much younger then Whitney.  He had a bad boy reputation, was in and out of jail, but isn’t that what every good girl wants, a bad boy?
The only person that can be held responsible for Whitney drug habit - is Whitney.  Bobby may or may not have introduced Whitney to drugs, and even if he did it was Whitney’s personal choice to do and continue to do drugs. Each of us makes personal choices daily between what is right and what is wrong.  Whatever choices we make the decision (choice), and the consequences fall solely on our shoulders.  Bobby is no more responsible for Whitney demised then you or me. Her, down fall, addictions, was brought on by her sickness..

 Over the next few weeks people will talk about all of the various accolades that had been bestowed upon Whitney during her life time. Achievements that include the multitudes of musical honour, awards, personal achievements’, and movies that she stared in. they will talk about the string of #1 hit song, and towards the end the songs that flopped that she recorded.  Or her attempt to revise her fading singing career.  Discussions about “Being Bob-by!” Brown and Bobby Kristina. Of the entire multitude of topics about Whitney Houston; all of her personal trials and tribulations, the two things that she will sadly most be remembered for is her tumultuous marriage to Bad Boy Bobby Brown and her addition to drugs.

Wendy Williams said it best- “plague with the demons of our substance abuse. Drugs are a part of our subculture –the addict. It’s sad, just sad”.

 
Sasha Allen: A Tribute to Whitney Houston (YouTube)

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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Is Your Man a Mooch?


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Does He:

Not have a job

Has no responsibilities

Begs, borrow and count on others to pay his way

Avoids paying rent-you provide him with a place to stay

 While you are at work He uses your electricity, water, and cable

Ran up his cell phone bill- you paid it- it's in your name

Borrows money several times a week to buy food, cigarettes or beer 

Do you always make sure he's fed, and has gas in his car?

Does he sleep well into the late afternoon?

Plays video games all night

Can’t hold a job for more than a month or two. About the lenght of time it takes for Child Suppoet to kick in.


If you answer yes, to two or more questions, why you fronting- your man a Mooch. But you already knew that.


You may think that you are being “supportive” of your man, but the issue is that you're not helping- you're enabling him. He has managed to turn mooching into an art form at your expense.  His reasoning is that he lacks motivation-he’s motivationally challenged.  Yeah, right kick rocks, bum! 

 Is it me, or does motivationally challenged translates into double talk for “get off my back you’re working. There’s no need in both of us working”.  It's time for these freeloaders to get a wake-up call. ! If it looks like poop, smells like poop, walks like poop ….THEN Its shiz!!! 

He does what he does because it works. If it wasn't working, (then) he would get a job.  Because if he was left/made to support himself ,and did not work he would be out in the cold and hungry. As long as there are no consequences to his behavior, he'll continue mooching. 

Mama always said “’Make sure no matter what, that you can take care of yourself”.   Mama NEVER said anything about making sure you can take care of a man and yourself. A true and real Man will gethis hussle on and not only take care of the household, and the  kids, but also will take care of you.  Stop wearing the pants in the house.

Make that man be a Man. I’m not saying he’s a worthless, no-good, trifling, mooching, lazy ass.  Well, yes, I am.


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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Why Do You Stay?

Why do some women feel that they should stay in a relationship when their mate continues to mistreat, disrespects, lies, cheats, and is physically and mentally abusive-why do they stay?

Could it be that because they are lacking the love or relationship that they did not receive from their Father or a positive “Father” figure? Perhaps they are looking for a “father figure” if they grew up without one. Or if they are in an abusive relationship this may be the only type of relationship that they know. There are instances’ where an individual believes that: “unless a man beats me, he doesn’t love me”. I know, go figure that one out. (Sorry, editor’s opinion)
For all of the myriad and lucid reasoning, to the person in this dysfunctional relationship, they often give (as to why they stay) is it’s “for the kids”.
Is staying in a dysfunctional relationship “for the kids” a valid reason to stay? HELL NAW!  (Sorry, editor’s opinion, again)
If you knew someone who was in an abusive relationship whom you previously help leave their abuser, and they kept going back, if the next time you saw them they were all beat up and asked for your help, again would you help them? Say they got what they deserve?  Or give them the "Gurl, if it was me"speech, prentend to care, and then proceed to gossip about them behind their backs?

Editor’s Note: We at Ree-De’s Crafts fervently adhere to the belief that abuse is never deserved or condoned.  

Domestic violence is an ongoing epidemic. Do not let domestic violence, whether past or present, define your identity.

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.  Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. 

In 1992, The America Medical Association reported domestic violence as the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44. Three to four million women are beaten each year by their partner or spouse, one every 15 seconds. Thirty percent of female homicide victims are killed by their partners or ex-partners, 1,500 women are murdered as a result of domestic violence each year. A 1995 national study found that 31 percent of women surveyed admitted to having been physically assaulted by a husband or boyfriend.

It is important to know the signs and solutions in order to help yourself and/or your loved ones. Victims of domestic violence become experts at hiding their suffering and pretending as if nothing is wrong. They have to, because in most cases they are threatened with more abuse if they share their secret and expose their abusers.

How You Can Help:




  • Be non-judgmental:
Don’t be afraid to let him or her know that you are concerned for their safety:
  • Help your friend or family member recognize the abuse:
By recognize that what is happening is not “NORMAL" and that they deserve a healthy, non-violent relationship.
  • Acknowledge that he or she is in a very challenging and frightening situation.
  • Be supportive:
If he or she ends the relationship, continue to be supportive of them.
  • Remember that you cannot “rescue” him or her:
Although it is difficult to see someone you care about get hurt, ultimately the person getting hurt has to be the one to decide that they want to do something about it.

If you think your friend or family member may be in an abusive relationship
PLEASE call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224 to discuss your concerns, questions or for help.